Pretty much everybody knows by now what the new GT-R is. There are a lot of people who like it. Why? Because it set one of the top lap times on the Nur-... (German track with the long complicated name that I don't feel like looking up) for it's class. Nissan constantly compares the GT-R to Porsche's 911 GT2 (bi-tubro monster) and 911 GT3 (humming bird on crack), and boasts the fact the the GT-R is faster.
Whaa? Yup the GT-R is faster.
Fanboy: "So Fuji I take it you like the gee-tee-are then right?"
Briggs: "No. I hate the GT-R"
Fanboy: "So you're pissed that the GT-R smoked your precious 911?"
Briggs: "Nope, to me the Porsche still kicks ass."
Fanboy: "But-but, Briggs-san, then why do you hate the GT-R?"
Briggs: "Well laddie, have a seat and I'll tell you."
First some history.
I love most of the whole Skyline GT-R and GTS-R legacy, mainly the C10 2000GT/ GT-R, and the R30-34 series. Wipe that confused look off of your face, I'll post pics at the end of the rant. From the 1969 with starting the 2000GT/ GT-R and until the R34 died in 2001, Nissan used either inline 4 or 6 Cylinder engines in the Skyline. All GT-R's however, got inline 6 motors. From the early 80's R30 until the R34 nissan turbo charged the GT-R's. The stock GT-R alone was bad ass, but when tuning groups got their hands on them they where turning out R's with 700-1000HP. Now remember, these are 2.5/2.6 liter inline sixes. That's fucking amazing. Legendary.
The R chassis died in 2001 and was replaced with the V35, what us American's know as the Ifiniti G35/37. The Skyline was dead. Replaced the R-series was; with a subtle, uninspiring disappointment.
Born again with 480 hp V6TT (twin turbo). The Skyline portion of the name dropped and the model was named the R35 GT-R.
What do I hate about it? That's right I was supposed to rant huh?
Well here it is kiddies!
1. The R35 GT-R is nothing like the GT-R of yesterday. Instead of using the l-6 motor like is R3- predecessors, it uses a V6, like the Z does. If they are going do bring the GT-R back from the dead... Why the fuck not make it like the GT-R's of the past?
2. Tranny. Up until now the GT-R had the option of a manual transmission. Now it's only automatic (we'll cover that in a sec.) When I read about this I was as pissed as Bill Clinton when he found out that Monica sucked Hillary's dick too.
Auto only? Are you fucking kidding me, Nissan is as bad as those anti-abortion fanatics. God forbid people have options! But unfortunately with the GT-R, you can't just go to some back-alley mechanic and have it yanked out with a coat hanger.
Fanboy: "But Mr. Briggs, it's a twin-clutch tranny, only auto until you kick it over to paddle shifter mode!"
Lame-o. I want to use both feet and hands to drive my car. Not my finger tips and one foot. I want total control over my car... non of that fly by wire crap.
3. Computer. I'm pretty sure the next skyline will just have a box of iPhones in the engine bay, no more motor for you Skyline boy.
The computer in the Skyline owns you. You don't drive the car, the computer does, you're just along for the ride. Kinda like a really-really good simulator.
If you try to change the wheels, the computer will throw error codes, and you have to take it in to the dealer. There are sensors are other sorts of Steve Jobie shit in there that get tripped when a wheel is taken off.
For the Japanese buyers, you cannot take the car past 112 MPH. The only way that you can, is to take the car to a Nissan approved race track. Then the GPS will unlock the speed governor.
Once you are done racing, you have to take the car to a Nissan dealer, so that they can give the car thee ole' turn your head and cough. How much does that cost? $600.
4. Power. Nissan say's the car has 480 hp. When the car was dyno tested by various companies, the result yielded roughly 475-480 wheel horse power. Now for those of you who are scratching your heads there is a difference between 480 hp and 480 whp. You see when car manufactures give you horse power figures, they are measuring the engine alone, no drivetrain.
Drivetrains take away approximately 15%-25% of the power. So that means that the Skyline really has about 550-580 hp. No fucking wonder it's so fast.
What cracks me up is how people are clinging onto this notion that the GT-R is going to be $70,000. Where the hell do you think you are going to find one for that price. After all the fanboy hype, they are going to be selling for 100k at least. Ever 35-45 year old pre-midlife crisis douche is gonna be lining up at the door for one.
I hate the R35 GT-R. A wise pal of mine stated: "It's like Clay Aiken shot out of a cannon: It may be fast, but it's still gay."
The GT-R corrects all your mistakes for you so that you can have a consistently fast and safe ride no matter how shitty of a driver you are. I'm sorry but half the fun of driving a fast car is the fact that you have to constantly improve, and if you fuck up: It's your ass.
Picture for those who don't know how to search. Have a nice day.
1969-72, 2000 GT-R
1981-85, R30
1985-89, R31
1989-94, R32 (second favorite)
1994-1998, R33 (first favorite)
1998-01, R34
